please, please, please

don't assume that you know me. i mean really know me. i may seem immature to you but the shit i have endured in my measly time here on earth you will never experience in your entire lifetime. don't think you understand my behavior or my actions. it's my time now to act any damn way i please.

why is it that...

people don't say what they mean and do what they say? what the fuck is wrong with these kinds of people? do they say things for dramatic effect? to get a reaction? to boost their egos? to make themselves seem important? well i got news for "those" kinds of people. when you do shit like that all i think is that you're crazy. life is too short to sit here and figure out what you mean, want or think so please do us all a favor, be man or woman enough to say what you mean and do what you say or better yet just don't say anything at all. fuckers. thank you.

sigh

this time last year i was in Prague. 2008 exact same time i am organizing the memorial for my moms death. i can't believe how much can change in a year, hell everything can change in a second. my brother, sister and i spent yesterday with our family. first we went to the cemetery and then it was off to my moms place for tea and conversation. after our extended family left we headed out to the street fair up the block from my moms house. i remembered my mom didn't pick up the phone when i had called to tell her i arrived safely in europe. later i found out that she was with her sister at the annual street fair, the same one my siblings and i were attending a year later.

its still such a freak thought that on that day last year she was just hanging out with her sister not knowing that it was her last day on earth!!!! how crazy is that? why is it so hard for us to not get bogged down by the everyday nonsense? i don't know, i'm also guilty of forgetting that we are not immortal and that any second can be our last one. so everyday i'm going to remind myself that no matter what happens it is never as serious or final as death.

do you ever wonder?

life is so amazing, it truly shows you the way if you just stop trying to control the outcome and go about your business. A lot of answers were revealed to me today, some i didn't want to see but again it was shown to me as clear as day. i guess the energy that I've been wasting on a certain "project" has been exactly that, waste. it's like i already know the outcome but don't want to face the reality but aren't we all like that in some way? i guess some of us need constant reminders to wake us up from our fantasy. message heard loud and clear universe, thanks again!

hmmmm

sometimes they have to miss you to realize what you mean to them.

oh boy "they" strike again

my friend lori said that when a guy in his first sentence to you uses the word esoteric to describe his dogs name then he's a douche bag hipster. Truer words have never been spoken.

5 movies you must see

1. Big Trouble In Little China - Kurt Russell's kicking magical chinese villian ass.

2. Top Secret - Val Kilmer not yet fat and funny as hell.

3. Roadhouse - Patrick Swayze's hair alone steals every scene

4. Commando - one word, AHHNOLD

5. Lone Wolf McQuade - Chuck Norris, enough said.